Proud Women

Happy after the 4th of July day!

We went to an enlightening party yesterday for a combined 4th and my son’s 40th birthday! They have a ton of friends, all with kids, so their beautiful backyard pool was filled with them, as well as with their moms.

Now here comes the point of this little article. A good number of the moms were quite curvy and were clearly proud and confident in their voluptuous skin. I was inspired! In my generation, ample women were relegated to covering themselves and gathering in corners so as not to show their bodies.

Kudos to all women who are proud of their brains and bodies!

Picture thanks to Photo by Peter Spencer: https://www.pexels.com/photo/fireworks-display-1317374/

Pope Paul Speaks

So the other day I got this text message that started with, “Hi. I’m Gemini,” that went on to briefly introduce itself as a way to automatically generate and respond to my text messages. Gemini is an artificial intelligence tool offered by none other than Google! Since it’s a Google product, it can infiltrate and work with all Google products: Gemini comes in both free and paid versions. The free version offers the following:

  • Text-based prompts and text generation
  • Upload and create images
  • Search Google products

The paid version includes:

  • AI model that can handle more complex tasks
  • Enhanced and longer conversation capability
  • Use Gemini inside Google apps like Gmail and Docs
  • 2TB of storage

So what, exactly, does text generation do:

  • Drafts content for emails, letters, and other forms of correspondence
  • Creates educational content, such as speeches, study guides, presentations, and lesson plans
  • Translates text from one language to another
  • Drafts business communications like proposals, website content, and memos
  • Provides tips to revise or improve existing written content
  • Writes creative content, such as social media posts, storylines for games, and prompts for journaling exercises

This sounds deliriously intoxicating, but where does the human fit in?

Alleged Benefits

It’s only fair to discuss the alleged benefits of AI-based text generation.

Note: “Alleged” is the operative word

  • Time Saving and Efficiency: Text generation can save considerable time and effort in preparing large amounts of text, freeing up time for other tasks.
  • Creativity Boost: AI surpasses the speed with which humans can generate unique and original content with high speed such as stories and poems.
  • ADA Advantage: AI offers people with disabilities the ability to perform new skills.
  • Customer Communication Improvement: AI enables businesses to create personalized, text-generated messages.  
  • Writing Improvement: Text generation can give writers in specific language tips to improve their skills.  

Negative Impacts of AI

On the other hand, there are serious issues with and implications of AI technology on society and culture. Here are just a few.

  • Backroom Inaccessible: What this means is that you and I probably have no clue how and why AI makes the decisions it does for our work and how to modify it accordingly.
  • Job Losses: Particularly vulnerable are jobs in healthcare, marketing, and manufacturing.
  • Manipulation of Audiences: Think politics, where AI is threatening to create a cesspool of lies and deceit to politicians’ benefit.
  • Surveillance: Want privacy? That is soon to be a thing of the past. Or is it already?
  • Goodbye Ethics: Would you believe this from Pope Paul. He urged nations to develop international treaties to regulate the development of AI. Specifically, he said:

“The unique human capacity for moral judgment and ethical decision-making is more than a complex collection of algorithms, and that capacity cannot be reduced to programming a machine.”

Truth be told when I got the “Gemini” text message advertising its ability to generate my text messages, I was incensed and felt like throwing my phone across the room. Indeed, I feel like we are heading toward a civilization of idiots where AI is taking over our brains, and ultimately, everything that we do. The implication of this is chilling, and I’m afraid, we are not far off from this disturbing reality.

Blessing to Pope Paul who said it best.

Sources:
https://builtin.com/artificial-intelligence/risks-of-artificial-intelligence#:~:text=Is%20AI%20Dangerous%3F,biggest%20dangers%20posed%20by%20AI.

https://www.grammarly.com/blog/what-is-google-gemini/

https://www.ibm.com/topics/text-generation#:~:text=It%20involves%20tasks%20like%20text,is%20easily%20understood%20by%20humans.

The Tanks

This is a long one, but a story that is based on truth and one I feel compelled to tell now that summer is here. I hope you enjoy it.

Empty behemoths, arising in the middle of the woods, hidden from the city below. Today, they are useless, serving only as a quasi-canvas for local Andy Warhol and Picasso-wanna-bes and a refuge for the occasional homeless person.

I hike to them exactly 3 times each year, and each time it is like seeing them anew. I think I’m going to see something different, I guess. Maybe an answer? It hurts.

 Fall is my favorite time. My feet crackle and crush the leaves that fill the air with their musty, delicious smell through the woods. The smell and sounds of the leaves are a temporary balm. Short-lived and only until I come back again. I come a lot in the fall.

The beauty of winter is magical, but I need my ice shoes to avoid falling on snow-hidden ice rinks in the path. On a sunny day, everything sparkles. But when the sky is gray, tree skeletons grasp as if desperately trying to reach for something unseen.

Spring brings the shadow of broken promises. The shadow lays heavy and smothers the sweet smells of life coming awake. I still journey to the tanks in springtime, even though the specters warn me that it’s soon to be time.

Summer.  I will never go up through the woods to see the tanks in summer. Still, it’s hard to resist the force that surges through me like electric shocks. I resist that pull and suffer the shocks because to give in would have far worse consequences.

It’s been years – 54, to be exact. The tanks were clean then, no graffiti, and there were Keep Out signs mounted on the chain link fence that surrounded them.  Still, we climbed the fences. I never did what the others did. They called me the proverbial scaredy cat.

Back then, these veritable giants held the overflow from the reservoir that supplied our small city with water. But unlike the reservoir which was a hotspot for walkers and runners, the tanks were hidden away in the woods.

Rewind: Eighth grade. Invincible.  Catholic school kids. By that time, we had evolved from playtime to cool kid time and had organized ourselves into groups. There were the cool kids, the smart kids, and the down-and-outers. I was one of the smart ones who was always on the periphery of the cool kids while avoiding some of the over-the-edge things they did. Like the tanks. Scaredy-cat.

By virtue of our educational institution, we were tightly wound and mostly separate from non-Catholic school kids.

The cool kids felt compelled to demonstrate their coolness in many, sometimes downright foolish, ways. And the episode that occurred on that hot, sultry summer night was beyond foolish, it was insane.

~~~~~

“I’m sweating up a storm,’ said Joe. His long hair (now that it was summer he was allowed to grow his hair that would otherwise be cut off by the nuns) caused him to sweat excessively. “I need to go swimming. Where can we go swimming?”

Silly questions because he knew exactly where “we” would go swimming.

“Are you all game?”

Paul, Mike, and Mary were all in with their enthusiasm, while Grace, Victoria and I just looked at each other and shrugged. Whatever the price, we did not want to lose our standing as cool.

It was one of those steamy nights where a thick blanket of humidity hung in the air. The night begged for us to cool our bodies in whatever way we could. Joe led the way, bringing us to the path that opened into the woods where the great monster monoliths lived. He brought a flashlight, but even with, it was hard for those of us back in the line to see. Victoria and I kept tripping over tree roots and rocks, whether because we really couldn’t see, or because we were now very afraid, or a combination of both.

They arise out of nowhere, looming on a wooded hill, great beasts, tempting anyone to try and conquer them.

“What do you say we go home and cool off under the sprinkler,” I said. “Or sneak into the Mahoney’s pool.”

Paul sighed.

“You’ve got to be kidding about the sprinkler and we could get arrested sneaking into the Mahoney’s pool.”

“What do you think could happen to us here?” said Grace.

“It’s not like there’s any neighbors who are up all night,” said Mike.

“Look, if you don’t want to go in, then just stay here and be a lookout,” said Paul. His tone was demeaning, but no matter, I was not going to climb up one of those things and swim in it.

“Here’s the plan,” he continued. “I’ll climb up first and when I’m sure we can get in and out okay, I’ll just holler down ‘okay.’ So, who’s going to go in.

Mike and Mary were quick to nod, while of the three of us remaining, Victoria raised her hand. She did not look thrilled, but coolness beckoned.

It was a long climb up to the top and Paul looked like a miniature human from where we stood. He disappeared for a moment, and then his head popped up. “Okay!”

Mike made the long climb next, followed by Mary. Neither of them was visible after they reached the top, but we could hear some faint splashing and laughing.

Grace and I looked at Victoria who was looking down and kicking at something on the ground with her foot. We stood silent. She finally looked up.

“Do you really want to do this,” I asked.

“It’s something I have to do.”

“Why? We’re not doing it,” said Grace.

“I just do, okay?”

Something was wrong. Victoria’s usual smiley face was like stone, and her tone was abrupt.

She turned away from us, flung her sandals away, and began the seemingly endless ascent to the lip of the tank.   

Then she was gone.

Today the tanks are empty, and one tank has a door carved into its steel container so you can look in and see where it happened.  It’s now an empty weed and garbage-filled lot surrounded by wall-encrusted graffiti.

Photo by David Underland: https://www.pexels.com/photo/rusty-water-tank-in-low-angle-photography-12290161/

An Ode to Spring (not…)

It’s spring —
Really?
Someone forgot to tell
The drooping, budless forsythia, dogwood, and cherry trees,
The lackluster trees and sadly slumping tulips
Blame the weatherperson,
Who promised something better
Than the inches of rain flooding my basement.
And tomorrow?
Back to the snow we didn’t have all winter.
Such is the world,
A backward, forward, upside down mess
That makes no sense,
Just like spring …

Photo by Pew Nguyen: https://www.pexels.com/photo/raindrops-on-glass-window-243971/

Birds of a Feather

Oh for the joys of a lazy Sunday morning after a night of big booming storms. Now we relish the calm – and the coolness. So do my beloved cockatiels who are at last settled after a week of being shuttled here and there as we rearranged the household while moving my 27-year-old daughter out (at last!!) and re-converted her room back into my study.

My tiels stopped eating for a few days and my personal avian alarm, Frederika,  quit her earsplitting screaming, which she does to demand my company, or alert me to the immediate need to have her food replenished.  Her companion, my Freddie, stopped singing his rendition of London Bridge is Falling Down, which is really quite beautiful and definitely audible, even in the backyard.

But now they are now ‘home,’ they are now ‘happy,’ and they have resumed their alerting me that it’s time for their 4 p.m. bowl of popcorn.

Ducks in the Pool

They’re back! And when they arrive, it’s with a big splash! 

Who is “they”?

One of the true and delightful rites of early spring in my life is the arrival of the male and female ducks who unfailingly land and plop down in the water-filled cover of our neighbor’s above-ground pool. It’s going on 10 years that I’ve “experienced” them. Sadly, the average lifespan of a duck is less than 10 years, so is our time together nearing an end? Or might one of the many offspring who have sprung here pick up where his or her parents left off.

Stop! These lovely creatures have just arrived and already I am focusing on their departure when there is another wonderful beginning right in front of me.

Their Story

Every year the ducks arrive soon after the last snow and thus the spring saga begins. They spend some time swimming in the pool cover, and disappear at times, usually evenings, when together they locate the best spot for Mama to lay her eggs and keep them warm. Unlike some other avian species, only the mother is allowed to sit on the eggs while Papa guards the nest and forages for food.  

It’s interesting how she forms her nest. It begins as a 1-to-6-inch bowl-like depression in soft ground into which she plops, and once plopped, that’s where she stays. Instead of bringing materials to the nest, she reaches for brush and vegetation from her perch to both cushion the nest and hide it from view.  Once she lays her eggs, she plucks the soft, downy feathers from her breast to cover and insulate them. Discretion and safety is the watch word for this entire process and believe it or not, in the 10 years I’ve been observing this springtime ritual, only once have I seen Mama with her ducklings waddling behind her.

As I wrote this little piece and did some additional research on one of my favorite wildlife species, I learned some interesting facts about ducks.

  • Although they are “monogamous,” males are known to have “dalliances” with other female ducks.
  • When their wings flap like crazy, be aware they can actually propel their owners up to 55 miles per hour.
  • Quacking? Only females quack; makes merely make a grunting, guttural sound.
  • When breeding season is over, ducks shed their feathers and are unable to fly for 3—4 weeks, a highly helpless time for them.
  • Ducks have a varied diet. They don’t dive in water, but will eat bugs and plants along the surface. They otherwise forage for seeds, worms, snails, etc.

Like all nature’s creatures, ducks have their own special stories to tell, and when they do, they put a smile on my face and joy in my heart.

Happy Spring!

Photo by Photo by Liudmyla Shalimova: https://www.pexels.com/photo/ducks-swimming-in-a-body-of-water-19824820/

A View From 1970

As rain pelted on our windows, the temperature also plummeted and brought with it a deluge of gropple that coated the grass. This is spring. Ha!! In other words, it was indoor time. Feeling bored and restless, I dug through some old files and stuff, and came across this little piece I wrote back in 1970! It’s certainly not as appropriate today, but I thought I’d share its raw simplicity with you.

The little piece

Strange things are happening to a certain mass of individuals we call mankind. Like just the other day I was downtown and on that particular day, the gray streets, huge buildings, and a large mass of mankind roaming about aimlessly, gave me this feeling of panic(I’d been feeling this way a lot lately), like I was lost in a prison with all those people and couldn’t breathe.

I became very depressed, so I walked up to some executive looking guy (briefcase and all) and I asked him, or tried to, “Sir, don’t you ever get depressed being here in the city all the time? Don’t you ever long for the green grass and…”

“Grass!! How DARE you approach me young man. You deserve everything you’re going to get, you, you, you … PUSHER!!”

“Sir, I…” After a vain attempt to try and relinquish the accusation that was thusly levied on me, I found myself admitting something I’d never even done. (My God, I’ve never even seen the stuff!)

I was arrested and given a fair trial. I told my story like I’ve just told you and the man told his, and well, here I am spending the next 25 years of my life in prison.

No, I don’t feel angry. Somehow, I’ve become resigned to it all. I figure if I’m good, I can get out on parole in 10 years or so.

You know, though, it’s funny. I haven’t had that panicky feeling in a long time…

Picture by Photo by Guy Hurst: https://www.pexels.com/photo/cells-in-prison-16293842/

Meditating with my Horse in Spring

I went to see my old horse yesterday. His name is Buzzy; he’s a retired Standardbred racehorse, and I’ve had him since he was 8.

Yesterday was a lovely April Fools Day with the temperatures in the mid-50s under a sunny sky in a part of the country where 10 inches of snow have been known to fall in May.

Today I joined Buzzy in the small lean-to in his also small corral, picking my way through the mud that is officiating whatever spring we are going to have now, before the May snow, that is. Buzzy is blind, but his ears and nose are faultless and when he heard the crinkle of the carrot bag I brought, he stuck his nose out in his blind way of moving and slowly ambled to me.

There we were, together, standing in spring mud while I doled out the mini-carrots to him one by one. His winter blanket is now off, and I was able to brush off the caked mud on his face, neck and body. He is shedding and I love brushing all the winter-born hair off his body. He likes to be groomed. I like to groom him. It’s a meditative thing – creating pleasure in a simple way for an old being. For this human, it’s soothing – watching the geese pair as they devotedly waddle together,  the wasps who have awakened from their winter nests, and the other horses lollygagging in the first warm sun of the season.

Buzzy is 32, and that is old for a horse – VERY old!

I wonder how many more years, seasons, and days we will have together. Hopefully years, more likely seasons, hopefully, more than days.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Losing a Beloved Fur Friend

Toys, untouched now, scattered across the floor.
Bowl, crusty with dried, uneaten food.
Leash hangs, unused — yesterday, today, tomorrow.
A deathlike grip on silence fills this place that is no longer a home.
The little life I fed, walked, played and cuddled with for 12 years
Took a different path, a journey where life is forever snuffed.

This goodbye is the worst — the pain is excruciating, much worse than losing a human
Will it ever end?
This pain of losing the one thing that gives true, pure unconditional love and happiness, expecting nothing in return.

Addendum

I have lost many pets in my life, and the pain never gets easier. I grieve for each and every one of them. Right now, a good friend of mine is facing the potential loss of a beloved pet, and her pain ignites the grief I feel for each and every one of my bygone babies.

If you are not a pet person, you may not understand the horrific pain that comes with the loss of a beloved fur friend. I provide this link which may help you, as well as all pet lovers, understand why this grief is so passionate.

Why losing a pet hurts so much

When You Were a Kid

Remember when you were a kid and all the old people in your life said, “Back when I was a kid…”?

Back When

I swore I would never say that, but here goes – I believe my childhood was about as good as it gets and far better than that of today’s kids – for myriad reasons,

I was a child in the latter 1950s and the 1960s. Life was simple compared to life today. Phones back then had no dials or pushbuttons. They were plain, black, boxes and required you to pick up the receiver and tell an operator what number you wanted. I only used this kind of phone once, when I was 5 y/o, and it was scary talking to a black thing that talked back. Later phones evolved to have rotary dials, still black, and later into phones with pushbuttons that were available in several models.

An old TV with a monochrome kinescope on wooden table. 3d

Television sets were also smallish, usually black-framed, with rabbit ears used to fine-tune the pictures, which, of course, were in black and white. When color came along it was like mana from heaven! I’ll never forget seeing the Wizard of Oz in sparkling, dazzling color.

Play

As kids we played. We KNEW HOW to play! We played outdoors in all seasons, all weather. We played school, we played with Matchbox toys in the dirt pile behind my best friend’s house, we played Barbies, trading outfits and making up stories where our dolls were the actors. We played with jacks, and paper-dolls; we rode our bikes, and pretended they were horses. We walked everywhere and there was never a fear of being kidnapped.

On summer days, we waited in anticipation for the ice cream man. Nickels and dimes were clutched tight in grubby little hands and handed over for icy prizes. My choice was always Hidden Treasure – a plop of orange ice cream hiding a plastic figure that was basically useless except for the thrill it gave me to discover it.

Remember Fizzies? That’s a long gone treat of small disks dropped into water to create a bubbling liquid. They came in different flavors and colors and were highly coveted among the childhood gang.

We also played impromptu group games including kickball, red rover, and tag. We laughed, we argued, and we had an exhausting, fun-filled time, all designed without the interference of any adults.

Playtime Today

Lately I have had a delirious desire to play. The other day we went into an old-time toy and craft store. It was like strolling into a time warp of wonder and want where the toys, games, and puzzles called out to the child in me. What was completely missing were electronic games, phones, or today’s “toys” that are anything but.

There’s so much more to say about my childhood and the play options it is inspiring in me today. I could go on and on, regaling about other toys and games, and maybe I’ll drop a note or two along the way. And if you have any childhood play memories to share, I would love to learn about them.