madmuser

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Monthly Archives: July 2011

Buzzy’s Back: Tales of my Stalwart Little Steed

Buzzy’s back! Or rather, I am back to Buzzy. Buzzy is my steady and stalwart little Standardbred horse who I adopted some ten years ago, intercepting what was destined to be a trip to the dog food factory. When I got him he had just been gelded and it took a good two years for his testosterone levels to diminish. In the meantime, he developed a possessiveness over me that manifested in kicks and bites, of me no less, when “our” time was interrupted by me conversing with someone, or the approach of another horse. All of this faded over time, and he became my friend, pastor, teacher, as well as a wonderful little mount who I could take anywhere, ride anywhere, alone or with a cast of thousands, and he always took good care of me.

During the last four years, the economy hit us hard. So hard that I believed I was going to have to do something with Buzzy — sell him, give him away, or whatever. I got behind in my stable board and then I felt ashamed to go to the barn. My financially-induced funk kept me from the very thing I needed most in the world — my horse.

Buzzy and I are lucky because he resides in a barn owned by perhaps the most decent and caring human being I have ever met. She let me slide, with the caveat that I would indeed get back on track, which I did. After two years of being an absent owner, I finally began to re-acquaint myself with my horse. This summer has been heaven. Buzzy and I are doing our thing again. We have overcome some riding issues we had in the past — also under the tutelege of our caring barn owner — and we are on the trail again, ambling through empty fields of long grasses that sway in soft breezes, cooling off in the dark shadows of the woods, and fusing our bodies together as a single, spiritual entity.

WARNING: Walmart on the First of the Month

Yep — go to Walmart on the first of the month and your sanity will be at stake. I made the consummate mistake of going to Walmart yesterday on the first of July despite my profound disdain of the company and its practices. Why did I engage in such foolishness? I needed a few things and chose to avoid the massive construction project that blocked the way to my otherwise favorite and decidedly saner store. Here’s what I encountered:

 

  • One kid who screamed so loud and long that we all almost abandoned our carts and went screaming out of the store in chorus with the unyielding brat.
  • One majorly fat woman who yelled, yes YELLED at her grandkid who was down the other end of the aisle fingering fruit with dirty hands.
  • Traffic jams in the candy, beer, and fattening, salty snack aisle.
  • Women with overflowing carts in the “20 items or less” checkout lines — why doesn’t anyone tell these women to get out of these lines? Probably because they’re afraid of getting shot.
  • Surly, dour-faced employees who snap at customers who dare to ask them a question.

Okay — get the picture? I do rightly apologize for those fair and customer-minded employees — my checkout person was truly customer oriented. Likewise, I apologize to the customers who politely wheeled their carts, patiently waiting for traffic to clear, smiling kindly except for pain-provoked grimaces at the peak volume of screaming brat.

Moral of this story: avoid Walmart on the first of the month. CORRECTION — AVOID WALMART!!!!!

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